Good morning.
At our family reunion, we did what people who haven't seen each other in a year (or more) naturally do.
How's work? How are the kids? How's the house? What are you watching? Where are you traveling? What's new?
All perfectly reasonable questions.
But they weren't the conversations I came home thinking about.
The ones I keep remembering happened late at night around the fire or midday sitting dockside. My aunt and uncle, who hosted the weekend, had a way of getting us talking about things we probably never would have otherwise. Somehow we ended up sharing every experience we've had with ghosts and fiercely debating the greatest female-led band of all time. (My cousins argue ABBA?)
These are important matters.
I learned things about people I've known my entire life that I didn't know before. We told stories. We disagreed. We laughed until way too late.
It made me wonder why we spend so much of our limited time with people we love exchanging status updates.
We ask questions we already know roughly how they'll be answered.
"How's work?"
"Busy."
"How are the kids?"
"Good."
Excellent. We have successfully completed the quarterly family earnings call. 🙂
Meanwhile, sitting right across from us is a person with weird opinions, stories we've never heard, things they're wondering about, memories we've forgotten, and apparently a possible encounter with the paranormal.
Maybe fewer, better applies to how we gather, too.
We put so much effort into getting people together. We plan the dinners, schedule the girls' nights, protect the date nights, travel across states for the family reunion.
And then we assume that because we've managed to get everyone into the same place, connection will just happen.
But getting together and connecting aren't necessarily the same thing.
Maybe we don't need more opportunities to connect.
Maybe we need to be more intentional with the ones we already have.
Because after all the work it takes to get everyone around the same table, it feels like a waste to spend the whole night talking about how busy everyone is.
Your fewer, better practice
The next time you're gathering with people you care about, change one small thing about how you spend that time together.
Skip one of the usual questions and ask something you actually want to know.
What do you believe now that you didn't five years ago?
What's something weird you can't explain?
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
What are you obsessed with right now?
Or, obviously:
Who is the greatest female-led band of all time?
For the record, this question may not create peace. But it will create conversation.
See you next Friday,
— Brittany
One fewer thing to carry. One better thing to enjoy.
Choose fewer, better. Every day.
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