Happy friday.
My in-laws were visiting this weekend to watch our daughters play soccer. Sunday night, we had them over for dinner and decided to invite them to participate in our family meeting.
I should probably clarify that “family meeting” makes us sound much more organized than we are. We don't do this every Sunday, and honestly, we hadn't done one in quite a few weeks.
But when we do, it's pretty simple. Everyone answers a few questions about how they're doing. We share something that's going well, something that's been hard, and anything we're looking forward to. We go over the logistics of the week ahead, and we usually end with something we're thankful for or a joke.
With my in-laws there, we went around the table and everyone shared. There were wins and frustrations, things people were excited about and things that had been hard. We got to tell one of our daughters how proud we were of the way she'd played soccer that weekend and how much we've seen her improve.
None of it was groundbreaking. But sitting there listening to everyone, I realized how many of those things we might not have said otherwise.
Because we communicate with each other all day long. What time is practice? Who's doing pickup? Did you bring your water bottle? What's for dinner? Did anyone feed the dog?
We are very good at knowing what everyone is doing.
I'm not sure we're always as good at knowing how everyone is doing.
And it's surprisingly easy to confuse the two.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the systems underneath our family life: the calendar, the routines, who owns what, the things we can automate or simplify so our days don't require quite so much effort to hold together.
But sitting around the table Sunday night reminded me that the goal isn't to create a family that operates with maximum efficiency.
The best systems don't just help life run better. They create more room for what the life is actually for.
Room to notice that someone is having a hard time before we're expected to somehow guess. Room to tell someone we're proud of them instead of assuming they know. Room to say thank you for something that might otherwise go unnoticed. Room to hear what the people we live with are excited about right now.
And, apparently, room for a truly excellent dad joke.
Our daughter volunteered to close out the meeting:
Why did the girl eat her homework?
Because her teacher said it was a piece of cake. 🍰
It's hard not to head into Monday feeling at least slightly better after that.
Your fewer, better practice
Sometime this week, create ten minutes where your family isn't coordinating anything.
Ask each other what's going well. What's been hard? What are you excited about right now? What are you proud of?
You don't need an official family meeting. You don't even need to do it every week.
Just make a little room to know how everyone is doing, not only what everyone is doing.
Terrible jokes optional, but highly recommended.
See you next Friday,
— Brittany
One fewer thing to carry. One better thing to enjoy.
Choose fewer, better. Every day.
If this made you think of someone, send it her way. She can join Fewer, Better Fridays here → Join us